Resolution Runner Pillows

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

My resolution this year? Getting in shape so I can lift my favorite snacks!

Good intentions last a month on average

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"I feel like all I did in January was work out, eat healthy, strive for meaningful and balanced relationships, and improve my sleep schedule -- thank god that nightmare's over."

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

"I'm delegating my New Years Resolutions, you'll be running a marathon in July!"

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

'I'm here to sign up for a membership since the muscle shirt didn't work.'

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."