Resolution Procrastinator Pillows

I can't come up with any New Year's resolutions. It's not that I'm perfect, but that I'm so imperfect that I can't possibly give up anything.

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"I'd rather eat your homework."

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

Serious Putty

'1001 things to do whilst waiting to get on the internet.'

"This next song's from the soundtrack to the film of the book I never got around to writing."

'I forgot to do my homework so can we plow into a snow bank on the way to school?'

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

Studying and technology

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Al, The Go-From Guy

Invaders from Planet Manava.

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?

'Hey, boss, what's a 7 letter work starting with 'w' that represents what I should be doing rather than solving crossword puzzles?'

Is your homework finished? It's almost a snow day. No way

'Work's the greatest thing on earth... so I'm saving some up for tomorrow!'

As the horrible signs began to appear, students would go to any length to avoid seeing them.

'Boy, am I hungry. Alll I've had to eat today is some homework!'

"The pastor can't be disturbed. He's preparing for Sunday's service."

Rip van Winkle goes back to the office/

Kid about report on alternative fuels being due today: 'I just couldn't summon up the energy to do it.'

'Do excuse Ed's immobility - he's being regulated.'

Holiday Shopping for Guys

"Man! I just had to pull another all-dayer."

Messing around on the internet when your boss thinks you're hard at work.

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

It's 9pm and now you tell me you need a human for a school science project tomorrow?