Chore Procrastinator Pillows

"Hey Brian - can I borrow your lawnmower?"

'My spring cleaning got spring fever.'

'I know, I know. I know. It was my turn to change the water filter. You don't have to keep reminding me.'

'There's a 50 chance of rain, so I only watered half the lawn.'

"Don't worry honey! I promise I'll remove them next week!"

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Ideas that jump from noggin when head not yet screwed on."

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

'I'm just going to go and slip into something more comfortable, like denial.'

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"I tried getting good grades without studying, but it isn't working."

"Oh, don't mind that, it's just my body of unseen work."

"The gods seem angrier than usual today."

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

In, Out, Shake it all about

'I understand you have nothing to do, York.'

The Forever Stamp

"It's hard being a TV viewer trapped in the body of a student."

'My arms are getting shorter.'

Nethead strip: Over doing the time spent on the computer

Working from home to-do list.

"I can't mow the lawn today. A bug just flew up my nose."

'I prefer to work vicariously as opposed to remotely.'

"Have you ever had one of those days when it would have been easier just to do some work?"

"I was all set to go to the gym, but you'd be amazed how much, yoga class and pour-a-glass, sound alike."

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"Things to do today: 1) stare out window 2) crap on new bedspread 3) stare out window 4) claw up ottoman 5) stare out window 6) take nap."

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Waiting to do the second coat was the worst part. It was like watching paint dry.

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.