Fitness Procrastinator Pillows

'How much longer do I have before I have to change to a healthy lifestyle?'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

"Visiting your health club's website is a start, but I'd prefer you actually go there and exercise."

'Busy Dear ?' 'Just watching my exercise video.'

"The bad news is this job leaves me no time for anything else. The good news is it gives me a built-in excuse not to exercise."

Excuses for not going to the gym: Stopped on the way to the gym by an alien...

"Once. How many times did you go before your gym membership expired?"

Welcome To I'll-Start-Tomorrow-Cise!

"Okay, we've put on our exercise clothes. Now what?"

"I haven't lost any weight, so instead of watching just one, I'm going to watch two exercise videos a day."

Wait Lifter

"I said he should exercise more, so he bought a walk in bath."

"It looks like the only time I can fitness walk is at 7 pm...when my favorite telenovela starts..."

"Ok, ok, exercise tomorrow."

"Well, my fitness band told my doctor how lazy I've been since my last visit. How do I turn on privacy on this thing?!!!"

"The doctor wants me to exercise more, so I need you to lift my feet even more when you're not vacuuming."

"Our toilet is running again. Maybe you should take a lesson and run once in a while."

"Sorry, but climbing under your desk to reboot your computer doesn't count as aerobic exercise."

"Four out of five doctors recommend that you get up and get some exercise."

No, dear, I couldn't workout today, but I did do some strenuous selling and rigorous reinvestment!

I think I'll settle for Keep Fat.

'I know a lost cause when I see one.'

'The hardest part of exercising is waiting for someone to show up with my laser light.'

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"Will I be able to carry on not doing any exercise?"

GPS and Cardio Workout

Hamster Laziness

'My arms are getting shorter.'

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

Reluctant jogger.

"When good hamsters go bad."

"Since I never actually go to the gym, can I deduct the membership fees as a charitable contribution?"

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

"In solidarity with everyone who is snowed in across the country, I'postponing my New Year's resolution to exercise."

"You know, we actually only ever use two per cent of our fat asses."