Fitness Procrastinators Pillows

Gym. Closed. It's weird. I could never motivate myself to come here, and now that I'm locked out, I'm itching for one of their workouts.

"Are you tempting fate with poor diet and little exercise?" "Tempting it"? I'm surprised we haven't been charged with entrapment.

"Well, sometimes we take the dogs for a walk...which puts our fitness level at approximately that of an 80-year-old couple."

"I swapped my 'couch to 5k' training app for a '5k to couch' one!"

"Honey, I can't go to the gym today. I feel too out-of-shape."

"I'm exempt from the company fitness program. I have triplets at home."

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

"What> Fitness isn't a destination, it's a way of life."

"I was all set to go to the gym, but you'd be amazed how much, yoga class and pour-a-glass, sound alike."

'My arms are getting shorter.'

Gym. I don't need to exercise --- I have an ab crunch on my smart phone!

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

'Busy Dear ?' 'Just watching my exercise video.'

Easy chair exercise machines

'Look! A rock hard body in 90 days!'

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. That's a relief! How much can they expect out of your on your first day?

"I've been feeling healthier since I attached my fitbit to the collar of my neighbor's terrier."

As the horrible signs began to appear, students would go to any length to avoid seeing them.

'In that case I'll do nothing!'

"The doctor told him to exercise more, so he jogs to the pub."

"Remember me? I'm your running shoes. Remember what running is?"

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

"Oh, man, I forgot to stretch, ever."

Welcome Sufferers of Stage Fright

"Can you send me a detailed list of knee exercises I could do at home but won't because I have no discipline."

"The doctor wants me to exercise more, so I need you to lift my feet even more when you're not vacuuming."

'... And this is the home gym, where we hang all our clothes.'

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

"Okay, we've put on our exercise clothes. Now what?"

'This is my favorite machine in the gym.'

No, dear, I couldn't workout today, but I did do some strenuous selling and rigorous reinvestment!

"Well, my fitness band told my doctor how lazy I've been since my last visit. How do I turn on privacy on this thing?!!!"

'Don't strain yourself, make two trips.'

Break Glass in Case of Emergency