Resolution Wrecker Pillows

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Make your resolutions achievable.

Guy in gym

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"I hate this time of year."

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

My resolution this year? Getting in shape so I can lift my favorite snacks!

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

'At midnight we want to move to the non-smoking section so my husband can keep his New Year's resolution.'

"I feel like all I did in January was work out, eat healthy, strive for meaningful and balanced relationships, and improve my sleep schedule -- thank god that nightmare's over."

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

"So what are you planning on giving up for New Year?"

Okay, now we've got a quorum!

The Ten Resolutions

Realistic resolutions 1. Give up drinking (until you have a terrible day on January 7th) 2. Exercise (until you realise it is too cold and you are too tired) 3. Eat healthy food (until you remember that you love - and in fact need - an enormous plate of mac 'n' cheese)

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."

'Test results indicate you broke your New Year's resolution.'

"I'm starting my diet today."

"That's your best shot at a New Year's resolution? Stop flushing dental floss down the toilet?"

New Year's Resolution - stop smoking.

"Planning a few changed for the new year?"

New Years Resolution

'Every year, I make a New Year's resolution, but I never stick to it, and it's embarrassing when people ask me about it...this year I'm just going to lie through my teeth when people ask.'

'There goes my New Year's resolution to be a better person.'