Resolution Rocker Pillows

What's your New Year's resolution, Mort? I resolve to improve my memory. 2015 will be the year I really buckle down and do my memory exercises. If I can remember where I put them. I think I left them by the stove. Your 2016 isn't off to a great start. Did I leave the stove on?

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Mediation Process

Guy in gym

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

January Joiner

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

My New Year's resolution is to be a better person. Very noble. I want to work harder to improve the planet. What's your resolution, mom? Pretty much the same. To be a better-looking person? Hey! It's planetary cleanup. Nan's Hair and Nails.

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

If it makes you fell any better, I had to make seven New Year's resolutions, and I'm sure I'll break every last one. Ice cream.

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

My resolution this year? Getting in shape so I can lift my favorite snacks!

Remember how I came in on December 31st and ordered a lardo-size fudgsicle sugarbomb mocha with butter sprinkles? Well, give me another one of those. Since it's something I originally had last year, it'll be like I had this one last year too. So it won't violate my New Year's resolution. The ancient art of Time-Shift-Fu. I'm a tenth level grand master. I studied under Moe Yin, the master who created "it's not really 'cheating' if it's with an ex."

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

Good intentions last a month on average

New years resolutions

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

New Years Reolutions

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."