Resolution Romancer Pillows

Mister January.

Guy in gym

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

Company Ink.

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

"I'm looking for a data plan that will be constantly out of service so I can tell my dates I didn't mean to ghost them."

"You complete me, Barbara."

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

'You know I can never stay mad at you. Get in here, ya big galoot.'

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

'I like you, Susan, you have an intuitive interface.'

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

Good intentions last a month on average

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

"Would you like to come in and see my cave drawings?"

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

Dear Diary...Resolutions

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

'I can't read my New Year's resolutions -- I must have spilled beer on them last night.'

"Those image resolutions are crystal clear, but it's my New Year's resolutions that are getting pretty fuzzy."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

Who am I kidding?

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

"That was fun- we should do New Year's more often."