Resolution Remaker Pillows

'....How in the world did they know?

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Guy in gym

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

Good intentions last a month on average

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

'At midnight we want to move to the non-smoking section so my husband can keep his New Year's resolution.'

'I'm graphing the likelihood of me keeping this New Year's resolutions based on all of my previous resolutions. It doesn't look good for me.'

'Honestly you could drive a 'coach and horses' through this document, there's no definition of 'weight loss', no time frame, no sanctions.'

'I'm here to sign up for a membership since the muscle shirt didn't work.'

"We also offer a plan where you just post pictures and skip the exercise."

"THIS YEAR I'M GOING TO GET IN SHAPE."

'Remember - don't make any New Years resolutions for me!'

Holidays are Here, Think!

'Just thinking about New Year's resolutions makes me tired.'

"That was fun- we should do New Year's more often."