Resolution Wrecker T-Shirts

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Make your resolutions achievable.

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"I hate this time of year."

Guy in gym

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

'Let it go. Get on with your death.'

If it makes you fell any better, I had to make seven New Year's resolutions, and I'm sure I'll break every last one. Ice cream.

Remember how I came in on December 31st and ordered a lardo-size fudgsicle sugarbomb mocha with butter sprinkles? Well, give me another one of those. Since it's something I originally had last year, it'll be like I had this one last year too. So it won't violate my New Year's resolution. The ancient art of Time-Shift-Fu. I'm a tenth level grand master. I studied under Moe Yin, the master who created "it's not really 'cheating' if it's with an ex."

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

My resolution this year? Getting in shape so I can lift my favorite snacks!

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

'At midnight we want to move to the non-smoking section so my husband can keep his New Year's resolution.'

Movie Corporate HQ. He misunderstood -- He heard we need a "box office" smash, so he wrecked his cubicle.

"I feel like all I did in January was work out, eat healthy, strive for meaningful and balanced relationships, and improve my sleep schedule -- thank god that nightmare's over."

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

The Ten Resolutions

Realistic resolutions 1. Give up drinking (until you have a terrible day on January 7th) 2. Exercise (until you realise it is too cold and you are too tired) 3. Eat healthy food (until you remember that you love - and in fact need - an enormous plate of mac 'n' cheese)

"Passive-aggressive musical chairs." "You sit. I don’t deserve to" "I couldn’t possibly." "Maybe two of us could share." "Someone else go first." "I actually prefer standing."

Okay, now we've got a quorum!

"So what are you planning on giving up for New Year?"

What does the world need most this time of year, minion? Make no sudden movements. It needs to not feel guilty about all the broken New Year's resolutions. I'm not following you. I've created and artificial intelligence program that combs everything posted by or about you on social media ... and then decides your New Year's resolution for you. For instance, yours is to ask out Mbege Anyango from Cameroon. The A.I. was determined she's your soul mate. I've ... I mean the A.I. ... has taken the li

'Test results indicate you broke your New Year's resolution.'

"That's your best shot at a New Year's resolution? Stop flushing dental floss down the toilet?"

"I'm starting my diet today."

"Planning a few changed for the new year?"

New Year's Resolution - stop smoking.

"Oh well. . . another New Year's resolution shot!"

New Years Resolution