Resolution Revolutionaries Gifts

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

The Ten Resolutions

"This could be the year someone actually goes up there."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Make your resolutions achievable.

"I hate this time of year."

"My New Year's resolution is to lose thirty-eight thousand pounds."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

This year, Barry resolved to try new things and take more chances - starting tomorrow.

"It was only when I started to write the story of my life that I realised I'd forgotten to have one."

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

"New Year's resolutions are fine, but we should really focus on squad goals."

'Have you figured out our New Year's resolution?'

'My whole family made New Year's resolutions. Dad's eating more fruit, Mom's eating more vegetables, and I'm eating more cake.'

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

'New Years Resolutions, paragraph 45, clause iv in which we will attempt to clarify the term 'butter buttocks'.'

"My new year's resolution. . . .Not to drink out of the toilet."

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

"I don't have time for New Year's resolutions, I'm still working on the backlog from 1998-2000."

Dear Diary...Resolutions

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"My primary challenge is to strip away the hardened carapace of societal expectations..."

"We're cutting back on therapy. You?"

"Those image resolutions are crystal clear, but it's my New Year's resolutions that are getting pretty fuzzy."

'At midnight we want to move to the non-smoking section so my husband can keep his New Year's resolution.'

'I can't read my New Year's resolutions -- I must have spilled beer on them last night.'

Who am I kidding?

'My Ed is a lawyer. All of his New Year's resolutions have escape clauses.'

'Eat. Sleep all winter. These are your resolutions?'

"This year I'm going to lose weight!"

Realistic resolutions 1. Give up drinking (until you have a terrible day on January 7th) 2. Exercise (until you realise it is too cold and you are too tired) 3. Eat healthy food (until you remember that you love - and in fact need - an enormous plate of mac 'n' cheese)

"So what are you planning on giving up for New Year?"