Remedy Rebel Gifts

"This is called Grandma's Old Fashion Cold Capsules. Don't chew them, but if you do, it tastes like chicken soup."

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

I did it my way.

Food waste with recycling symbol

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Make your resolutions achievable.

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

"I really got used to working from home."

"I hate this time of year."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

'I thought your new year's resolution was to get the monkey off your back!'

Sunday.

"I modified the symbol for accuracy."

"Please help us reduce our garbage and improve our energy efficiency and our water quality. Help us to be eco-wise and-above all-to empower others."

'What day is trash pickup around here?'

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

Fat lady standing on a weighing machine. Its print out says 'I Quit!'.

Man in bumper car sees traffic cop on bumper-car style motorcycle

"I'll give you 3 to 1 nobody else turns up."

'Chairman of the Bard' at a poetry magazine.

A whole life devoted to the very same rubbish that will end up eating us!

"You know... this would be as good a time as any to rotate the tyres."

"Writing is... rewriting."

Realistic resolutions 1. Give up drinking (until you have a terrible day on January 7th) 2. Exercise (until you realise it is too cold and you are too tired) 3. Eat healthy food (until you remember that you love - and in fact need - an enormous plate of mac 'n' cheese)

I picked up all your neighbors' shopping circulars, Nana. Thank you! Put them in my trunk. We'll take them to recycling. Isn't the recycling place that way? He runs the firm that sends them!

"So what are you planning on giving up for New Year?"

Harold pushed the 25 coffee refills to the limit

Unable to repair the On/Off switch, the electrician simply relabeled it.

Must... Remember...

'Exercise is good for your rehabilitation, you can start by cleaning the toilets.'

Bassoonist cherub.

"Any New Year's resolutions?" "I'm going to do better." "That's a nice sentiment but a little vague. Without a specific benchmark how'll you know you've met it?" "How'll I know I haven't?" "That's oddly logical." "And achievable."