Resident Skeptic Gifts

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!"

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

10 Commandments in the Supreme Court (USA)

"I may have wasted my life, but at least I don't look stupid."

"My feeling is that while we should have the deepest respect for reality, we should not let it control our lives."

"I think I might go outside. My fresh air app is glitchy today."

"Sure, it's 'beautiful,' Ray, but where are the outlet stores?!"

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

'Mrs. Tomkins says her prescription has no side effects, so it can't be doing her any good.'

"I wish your temperature told the real truth about you."

"This isn't a reality show. . . it's the news."

"And Lord, let not thy laws apply to me, your loyal servant, but only to those miserable sinners whose souls we endeavor to save when it suits us."

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

"Oh yes, I've got the whole business computerised now"

"Somehow these awards are seeming less special."

'Dang it Sharif, I told you we shouldn't built the jacuzzi on an ancient bee burial ground.'

'I'm what you can't learn at Harvard Business school.'

"For the last time-empty your pockets before you put your robe in the wash."

"I'm dating an exorcist..!"

'It's probably just a weather balloon.'

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

Atheist Richard Dawkins attacks Pope's beliefs.

Brains Prohibited sign on door to church

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

'And just what studies show that losing weight causes global warming?'

"I am not a witch. . . I'm not! . . . And if you set that wood on fire, I'll turn you into a toad!"

"Yes, everything—I need a list of all the medications you're on."

'From what I've been hearing about it, I'm not sure I want a grip on reality.'

'I blame the internet.'