Reservist Gifts

"Because of the budget cuts the territorials are having to take on more responsibility, Graham has got the nuclear attack codes."

We need more men --- Call up the preserves!

We need more men --- Call up the preserves! (Published originally on 5/7/2004).

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

Desert Island Meals.

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

Scarcity

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'You know too much,'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

STRIP Hambone: Paper work

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

"The doctor will be with you two in a second. As for you, I'd recommend a motivational speaker."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.