Reservist Gifts

"Because of the budget cuts the territorials are having to take on more responsibility, Graham has got the nuclear attack codes."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

Desert Island Meals.

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"I dunno, looks like a trap."

"Stop the throw-away mentality! Save resources! A New Year every 750 days is quite enough!"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Scarcity

'You know too much,'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

'The portrait is a mark of his extreme egotism, but, if you curtsy and bow sufficiently...say, 'Oh Yes Sir!'!, to everything he says, you should do OK'

"Mr Frimley will see you now."

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

"Your mother called to remind you to diversify."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

STRIP Hambone: Paper work

"It's crazy here! They're all on recreational rugs."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

'…and remember - around HERE, ‘talk is CHEEP'.'

'It's only fair to warn you that if you get the job there would be a lot of filing involved.'

Receptionist covers for boss by saying he's out of the office.

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'Arf! Arf!'

"Has anyone mentioned that you're management now, …… You don't get overtime."

"Useless information"

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.