Reservation Rebel Gifts

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

"I'd like to make a supper reservation for 12 disciples + 1, and could you put us at a table big enough so we can all sit on one side."

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

"This year I resolve to embrace change."

Make your resolutions achievable.

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'I miss telling people they can't have a day off to be with their sick children!'

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

"I really got used to working from home."

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

Unrest Area.

'We've gone to profit-sharing. But it's with the IRS.'

"I hate this time of year."

"Here's your hourly job performance review."

'Think' 'But not too much'

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'Oh no. Another major code violation decision.'

These upside-down tomato planters simplify everything. But, dad. Mother nature wants plants to grow upwards. Sez who?

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

Daily Routine

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

'The government is keen not to interfere with private enterprise.'

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

Upload Filter

"Sure, my dad and my granddad and my granddad's dad were all domesticated. But that doesn't mean I have to be."

The New Square Mile Regulator.

'The bottom line: do we wait for the government to approve it as an antibiotic, or do we go ahead right now and sell it as a furniture polish?'

Net Neutrality

'Oops! Looks like I've broken every rule in the book.'