Reserved Individual Gifts

Introverted Chair

Woman's Support Group: No Bra, No Griddle, No Service.

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

Reserved space is reserved for a dinner table.

'I want to give my children all the things I never had. Then move in with them.'

'What have I made for dinner? A reservation at the restaurant down the road. . .'

'Hey, I told you this place wasn't easy to get into.'

'The company wants us to embrace change, but I'd personally prefer a quick handshake.'

'No, Mrs. Dudley! If there's a bone in a chair, that means it's reserved for Marmaduke!'

Tax grab.

"Instant coffee? Little plug-in water heater?? This new guy must be a real survivalist!"

'Thank you for calling the IRS... Press one for laughter in the background, press two for crying in the background.'

It's from your private medical insurance.

"I'd like to make a supper reservation for 12 disciples + 1, and could you put us at a table big enough so we can all sit on one side."

'I'll be right with you as soon as I feed Buzzy.'

'Never was a team player.'

We need more men --- Call up the preserves!

"I miss handshakes"

White flag being waved through the door of the Internal Revenue Service.

"Always standing out from the crowd."

'Relax - this is only tax hell.'

'Dr. Jekyll, how well do you know this Mr. Hyde who prepared your taxes?'

"Because of the budget cuts the territorials are having to take on more responsibility, Graham has got the nuclear attack codes."

Reserved

"No, I'm afraid being the reserve left back for Widdrington amative FC does not guarantee you to get one of the first testing kits."

'I can't find a darn thing wrong with your return -- could you come back tomorrow?'

Insert 50 cents for absolutely nothing.

"Sorry, sire, could it be under another name?"

"I told you we should have voted for Clinton."

"It was either us or nuclear weapons."

'I'm just here for a few of your favourite tax loopholes.'

We need more men --- Call up the preserves! (Published originally on 5/7/2004).

'I've just discovered our apartment building was built over an old IRS office building.'

"I could only find a short stay conference zone so we are going to have to keep this meeting brief. Our budget is too tight to take any more parking fines this quarter!"

City Wildlife Reserve.