Receptionists Gifts

Hospital Reception - Ring for assistance

' I see that you have a B.A. degree in stapling and collating. Your parents must be very proud of you.'

'How are we going to play this...Good receptionist, bad receptionist?...'

And another thing...someone left this small chocolate on my pillow!

'I'm terribly sorry, he's tied up at the moment, could anyone else possible help. . ?'

'I didn't get all that stuff after 'Dear Sir'.'

"Hiya, squirt!"

"Whay are you calling? We spent loads of money on technology so that we wouldn't have to talk to you."

Mary got more work done when she replaced her phone receptionist with a parrot who asked callers if they minded being put on ignore.

'Just a moment, Sir, I'm putting you through to someone random!'

'I've five minutes to spare, Miss Marsdon, come in and explain the meaning of life to me. . .'

Yacht club: 'Can he call back? Everyone is out getting tattooed!'

'Excuse me, Mr. Pavlik, but that gentleman you called an idiot is here. Should I still say you're not in?'

Information: The Management Reserves the Right to Refuse Information to Anybody.

Reception - The slimy no-good, double crossing b****** you wish to see - is that senior or junior?

"Can we get back to you? He seems to have stepped away from his trousers."

"I feel I ought to tell you I'm just the receptionist."

'You can have a cute little boy like me. All you have to do is get pregnant.'

'How's my spelling?'

'Human resources - are you sure?'

'Well, we have to make up for the 51 weeks you're not here.'

"Yes, you can see the chairman this afternoon - have you ever done any caddying before?"

'Please lace a staff vacancy Ad for me...'Assistant Required, either sex statistics 36, 22, 36'.'

"They are NEVER going to call my name."

"Boy, am I glad they finally hired more staff!"

'Ok, I'm in a paperwork mood. Let 'er rip.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

'Germaine, what did you do with my desk?'

'You know too much,'

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'