Rental Property Humorists Pillows

'Water is included with rent.'

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

"Efficiency tombs available"

'Is the fire included?'

"We figured why not make some money while we migrate south."

'It mostly scares the realtors.'

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

"Come climate change, you could find yourself sitting beach-front on the French riviera."

'Considering this is a floating mass of accumulated pond scum, I'd say you're gettin' one heck of a deal.'

"As president of the tenants' association, I have to inform you that our list of grievances has been eaten."

"For sale £470,000 house included"

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

"No pressure, but I do have another couple who are very interested."

Man on an Island has a sign that says: Selling Out Must Vacate Lost Lease.

Real estate.

'I'm so glad I moved into this basement flat Mary. It's put me on the property ladder and the neighbours are so friendly!'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

'The previous owner broke his leash ...I mean, lease.'

'But your advert said, Fantastic view.' - 'She's out right now.'

Toughing it out in the real estate game.

'With my new promotion, I can move us into a bigger shoe.'

"I've just been gazumped!"

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

"We're thinking of downsizing."