Real Estate Humor Lovers Pillows

Real estate.

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

An exaggeration of estate agents

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

Estate Agents: Executive Homes

"Efficiency tombs available"

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

'Is the fire included?'

"We figured why not make some money while we migrate south."

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

"As president of the tenants' association, I have to inform you that our list of grievances has been eaten."

"Come climate change, you could find yourself sitting beach-front on the French riviera."

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'It mostly scares the realtors.'

'Here's the 2 acres of beachfront property you bought - too bad it's only six inches wide.'

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

"No pressure, but I do have another couple who are very interested."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

Coming Soon- Trump Circle

'I'm so glad I moved into this basement flat Mary. It's put me on the property ladder and the neighbours are so friendly!'

'The previous owner broke his leash ...I mean, lease.'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

'But your advert said, Fantastic view.' - 'She's out right now.'

Toughing it out in the real estate game.

'With my new promotion, I can move us into a bigger shoe.'

Yes. This is definitely a house. The Housing Authority closes another tough case.

"I've just been gazumped!"