Real Estate Humor Lover Pillows

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

'Is the fire included?'

House prices remain out of reach for most first-time buyers...

'When you described it as a remote house in the country...'

'That house is a fixer upper. Are you handy with a checkbook?'

"It's fine - you know, it's a moon."

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

"This apartment ain't big enough for the both of us."

An Englishman's home is his sand castle.

'It's okay, there's a six-figure carpeting allowance.'

'Industrial Real Estate' fine tuning 'Distribution'

"Yes - it's a GREAT place to raise kids, but this is way out of our price range..."

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

An exaggeration of estate agents

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

Estate Agents: Executive Homes

"Efficiency tombs available"

"We figured why not make some money while we migrate south."

"For sale £470,000 house included"

'It mostly scares the realtors.'

'Considering this is a floating mass of accumulated pond scum, I'd say you're gettin' one heck of a deal.'

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

"Come climate change, you could find yourself sitting beach-front on the French riviera."

"As president of the tenants' association, I have to inform you that our list of grievances has been eaten."

'Here's the 2 acres of beachfront property you bought - too bad it's only six inches wide.'

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

"No pressure, but I do have another couple who are very interested."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

Coming Soon- Trump Circle