Realty Humor Lover Pillows

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

Jet flies by. 'And of course it's handy for the airport.'

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Someday, Son, all this will be your ex-wife's.'

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

Estate Agents: Executive Homes

"Efficiency tombs available"

'Is the fire included?'

"We figured why not make some money while we migrate south."

'It mostly scares the realtors.'

'Here's the 2 acres of beachfront property you bought - too bad it's only six inches wide.'

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

'Considering this is a floating mass of accumulated pond scum, I'd say you're gettin' one heck of a deal.'

"Come climate change, you could find yourself sitting beach-front on the French riviera."

"As president of the tenants' association, I have to inform you that our list of grievances has been eaten."

"For sale £470,000 house included"

"The current owners removed a number of walls and used soft, neutral tones to create a very spacious, open concept."

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

"No pressure, but I do have another couple who are very interested."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

Real estate.

Coming Soon- Trump Circle

'I'm so glad I moved into this basement flat Mary. It's put me on the property ladder and the neighbours are so friendly!'

'The previous owner broke his leash ...I mean, lease.'

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

'But your advert said, Fantastic view.' - 'She's out right now.'

'With my new promotion, I can move us into a bigger shoe.'

Toughing it out in the real estate game.

Yes. This is definitely a house. The Housing Authority closes another tough case.

"I've just been gazumped!"