Rental Properties Gifts

"A voice is telling me to move."

"Thank goodness I'm only renting."

"...and there's a $30 monthly balloon animal pet fee."

Where do you see yourself five years from today, dork-boy? 43 Breen Road. What are you talking about? It's where everyone wants to go. It's the most popular AirBnB in San Francisco. The earliest opening they had was five years from today. Just book a hotel. Hotels are so 2007.

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

"I'm a real estate developer and I'm just looking over this area."

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

"I need an apartment just big enough for a laptop, a coffee cup, and me."

House hunting is cruel.

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"I used to live here. Now I make a fortune renting it out on Airbnb."

"Sorry son, I rented out your room to backpackers on Airbnb."

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

The lessor of two evils.

We divided it up and turned it into a rental.

'I always thought Facebook was the perfect roommate...Until the rent came due.'

"The previous tenant has gone away for a very long time."

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'I'm presuming by the amount of rent you're asking for, it includes a full-time butler, maid and gardening staff!'

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

'Water is included with rent.'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

"It's a modest studio flat with own garden, 30 minutes from central London."

Tenants and Landlords - 'Are we nearly there? ...'

Airport Terminal. Rental Cars. That self-driving vehicle is waiting for us to go first. It's a courtesy van!

"Considering the rental market, this property offers a fantastic view, and they'll drop the restrictions."

"Well, thank God it's not the plumbing! Let's run down town, drop off a check and sign that lease!!"

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.