Rental Living Gifts

"Ooooh, she's tall! Good! Come in! I'll put away the flame thrower."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

Tenants Wanted: "We're in luck, boys!"

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

House hunting is cruel.

"I need an apartment just big enough for a laptop, a coffee cup, and me."

Suburban street.

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

The lessor of two evils.

"The previous tenant has gone away for a very long time."

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

"Five more minutes, I was dreaming our apartment was rent-controlled."

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'I'm presuming by the amount of rent you're asking for, it includes a full-time butler, maid and gardening staff!'

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

"I've been thinking about what you said about three living as cheaply as two"

"He's moving out when he's saved up enough for a deposit on a flat."

Shoe for Rent

"Well, thank God it's not the plumbing! Let's run down town, drop off a check and sign that lease!!"

Tenants and Landlords - 'Are we nearly there? ...'

Leonard Cohen calls his landlord