Rental Living Gifts

"Ooooh, she's tall! Good! Come in! I'll put away the flame thrower."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

' I gather you wish to reassign your lease, Higgins.'

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

'Yeah, strictly speaking it's a hole, but I prefer to think of it as a bijou hole.'

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

Tenants Wanted: "We're in luck, boys!"

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

Suburban street.

House hunting is cruel.

"I need an apartment just big enough for a laptop, a coffee cup, and me."

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"Sorry son, I rented out your room to backpackers on Airbnb."

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

'I always thought Facebook was the perfect roommate...Until the rent came due.'

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

We divided it up and turned it into a rental.

The lessor of two evils.

"Five more minutes, I was dreaming our apartment was rent-controlled."

"The previous tenant has gone away for a very long time."

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'I'm presuming by the amount of rent you're asking for, it includes a full-time butler, maid and gardening staff!'

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

"He's moving out when he's saved up enough for a deposit on a flat."

"I've been thinking about what you said about three living as cheaply as two"

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.

"Considering the rental market, this property offers a fantastic view, and they'll drop the restrictions."

Shoe for Rent

Airport Terminal. Rental Cars. That self-driving vehicle is waiting for us to go first. It's a courtesy van!