Renting Properties Gifts

"I've rented the extra room to an escaped convict - maybe you know him."

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'There goes any chance of us getting our security deposit back.'

Tenants Wanted: "We're in luck, boys!"

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

"I'm looking for something a little more open pan."

House hunting is cruel.

"I need an apartment just big enough for a laptop, a coffee cup, and me."

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

"Full central heating and hardwood floors throughout, the flat also benefits from being close to all major transport routes."

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

"Five more minutes, I was dreaming our apartment was rent-controlled."

"The previous tenant has gone away for a very long time."

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

The lessor of two evils.

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'I'm presuming by the amount of rent you're asking for, it includes a full-time butler, maid and gardening staff!'

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

'Water is included with rent.'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'I'm not sure we'll be able to sell your property. Since all this talk of global warming, the north pole isn't the prime location it once was.'

"Well, thank God it's not the plumbing! Let's run down town, drop off a check and sign that lease!!"

Tenants and Landlords - 'Are we nearly there? ...'

"Considering the rental market, this property offers a fantastic view, and they'll drop the restrictions."

Leonard Cohen calls his landlord

"He's moving out when he's saved up enough for a deposit on a flat."