Leasing A Property Gifts

Landlord holding back a tennant from his money: 'It's all part of the service!'

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

"And these are the Andersons, our tenants."

House hunting is cruel.

"I need an apartment just big enough for a laptop, a coffee cup, and me."

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

"I'm looking for something a little more open pan."

"I told you we should have sold last winter."

'I don't know about you, but I could do with a break.'

"The landlord has promised to sort out the damp problems."

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

"Just think- if it really was 'unlivably small,' would they have installed a permanent Ping-Pong table?"

Letting agent on the phone: 'OK, so there's fungus in the bathroom - but on the plus side, it IS organic.'

Real Estate Life

The lessor of two evils.

"The previous tenant has gone away for a very long time."

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

"It's a new rent concept - fifteen minutes for a quarter."

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors, slip-and-fall warning, and, barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'I'm presuming by the amount of rent you're asking for, it includes a full-time butler, maid and gardening staff!'

'Sorry, my dog says no landlords allowed!'

Almost sold.

"Once upon a time there were three little pigs who had this real sweetheart of a rent-controlled deal."

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'I'm not sure we'll be able to sell your property. Since all this talk of global warming, the north pole isn't the prime location it once was.'

'Office amenities' dangled by 'Leasing agents'

"You want a cheap house in a nice neighborhood? -- Okay, why are you here really?"

"He's moving out when he's saved up enough for a deposit on a flat."

"It's a mixed-use building."

Tenants and Landlords - 'Are we nearly there? ...'

Generation Rend. Young man rending his garments in anguish at extortionate rents.