Leasing Gifts

With the mileage on his car close to the limit for his lease agreement, Dave drove backward whenever possible.

'I don't know about you, but I could do with a break.'

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Do you also have a leasing plan for gasoline?' (at an auto leasing office).

Lost our Lease.

'I think it's the landlord after his three months in advance lease payments.'

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Bond James, Bond."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"These aren’t the droids you’re looking for."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Showbiz Awards

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

Benedict Cumberbatch

Director/Action Man toy.

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Don't get strung out by the way I look, don't judge a book by its cover."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

"Hey, I'm thirsty. I need a drink. A drink and a liverwurst sandwich. Hey, how about a sandwich and a beer down at Gallagher's, then we can go shoot some pool? Or maybe take in a movie. Hey, I'm talking to you."

Producer, Director and Novelizer.

Selling lemon latt�

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Herman Mankiewicz

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

'R2-D2 is not in. Please leave a message after the beep-wheep-zip-booop ...'

'I couldn't do my term paper because they've never made a movie about Rutherford B. Hayes.'

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'