Reminiscent Storyteller Gifts

"That's a very nice hobby. My hobby is living."

Ghost School.

"But how do I accomplish that in 140 characters or less?"

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

'If you want to see my resume, it's on my cave wall.'

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

Early man learns that by walking upright, his hands become free to do many useful things.

Frontispiece to 'The Pickwick Papers'

"Hi Mom...do you remember in which grade I was given an award for my excellent performance of the song about little ducks?"

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

"Chapter three: Homo erectus and the practical use of bones..."

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

'Humph! When I was your age, I had to do my homework in front of a black and white.'

"I think Simon’s been hit on the head one too many times."

Old cold warriors home: 'By god, I'll tell you who was soft on communism. . .'

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

Old Man Journal

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

Shakespearean Actor

'I still write all my novels longhand.'

"Police dramas just aren't what they used to be."

"I've invented the fire extinguisher."

"Hurry, hurry! When you get back, we'll finish rehashing 1924 and get right on to 1925!"

"It was a long afternoon with granddad. I got five 'I remember whens' and three 'When I was your age...'."

Homer

"Now when I was a lad..."

Martin is much gratified by an imposing ceremony