Reminiscent Drinker Gifts

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Baloneystini

"Hard day at the office Dear? You're swigging the Balsamic Vinegar."

'The first cocktail.'

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

Welcome! Milk Convention!: 'Bourbon, milk chaser- no, make that milk, bourbon chaser.'

"He wouldn't have rolled over and over in agony on the bombed-out cinder pitches we had to play on!"

"We're looking for that wine that got away."

"Gentlemen - raise your glasses'

'I'm middle aged.' 'You'll grow out of it!'

'Watch this - I told him the correct pronunciation of Pinot Noir is peanut noyer.'

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

Trendy new La Croix flavors

Son, when I went to school, I trudged for years knee-deep in student loans!

Christmas drinker

'Hey, everybody. Dr. Jekyll here has concocted a new mix for us.'

"Sorry, Michael, but no dodge balls past this point."

'Thinker's drinker.'

'I'm part of the losing things generation.'

"That's a very nice hobby. My hobby is living."

"To shuffle off this mortal coil in some saloon- it was his dream."

'I would like one of your driest martinis in one of your finest sippy cups.'

'What was I like 20 years ago? I was younger, thinner, better looking, sexier. . . and poorer.'

'Do you know how to make something called 'Casketon the beach?''

"We don't get a lot of call for double-shot-espresso-vodka-prozac-mocha's."

"No one's last words were 'I wish I'd done more homework.'"

'Life has been good to me. All these years, and I've never lost my keys and I never lost my wallet.'

Gone But Not Forgotten

Wine Lover

Mall Or Manger.

"Most would order red, but I prefer a fine, dry white with my jerky."

Nostalgia Club: This week's topics: Low gas prices, coffee klatches and pensions.

Let me guess, a Squirrelly Temple?

"When I was young, we were scared to the death of the boogeyman...el cucuy was a nasty, mean creature."