Reminiscent Drinker Pillows

"My salad days have all turned to coleslaw..."

"OK. . .stain, aspirin, water tablet, B12 vitamin, and whisky."

Baloneystini

"Hard day at the office Dear? You're swigging the Balsamic Vinegar."

'The first cocktail.'

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

"We're looking for that wine that got away."

"He wouldn't have rolled over and over in agony on the bombed-out cinder pitches we had to play on!"

Welcome! Milk Convention!: 'Bourbon, milk chaser- no, make that milk, bourbon chaser.'

"Gentlemen - raise your glasses'

'Watch this - I told him the correct pronunciation of Pinot Noir is peanut noyer.'

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

'I'm middle aged.' 'You'll grow out of it!'

Trendy new La Croix flavors

Son, when I went to school, I trudged for years knee-deep in student loans!

'I'm part of the losing things generation.'

Christmas drinker

'Thinker's drinker.'

'Hey, everybody. Dr. Jekyll here has concocted a new mix for us.'

"Sorry, Michael, but no dodge balls past this point."

"To shuffle off this mortal coil in some saloon- it was his dream."

"That's a very nice hobby. My hobby is living."

'What was I like 20 years ago? I was younger, thinner, better looking, sexier. . . and poorer.'

'Do you know how to make something called 'Casketon the beach?''

'I would like one of your driest martinis in one of your finest sippy cups.'

'Life has been good to me. All these years, and I've never lost my keys and I never lost my wallet.'

Gone But Not Forgotten

"No one's last words were 'I wish I'd done more homework.'"

Wine Lover

Mall Or Manger.

Let me guess, a Squirrelly Temple?

Nostalgia Club: This week's topics: Low gas prices, coffee klatches and pensions.

"Most would order red, but I prefer a fine, dry white with my jerky."

"When I was young, we were scared to the death of the boogeyman...el cucuy was a nasty, mean creature."

"How are people at my reunion going to recognize me? I look in the mirror and even I don't recognize me."