Nostalgic Raconteur Gifts

"When I was your age we didn't have mouths."

"In the bad old days, Nigel used to spend much of his time drinking and 'picking up birds'. . ."

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

"Hipsters"

Those Were The Days

Letter Collecting Nerd

'It's worse than we thought: You've got termites.'

'Somehow an electronic fish finder just isn't as exciting as a 'Ben fish finder'.'

"We've intended to ask you about it for some time, Doctor, but never got around to it."

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"I've learned from the past. Now can we move on?"

'Lost Diary'

Print Suicide

"Hi Mom...do you remember in which grade I was given an award for my excellent performance of the song about little ducks?"

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

'I must admit, this family reunion hasn't really lived up to my expectations.'

"I never got the chance to be homesick. You tweeted about me 20 times a day."

Old cold warriors home: 'By god, I'll tell you who was soft on communism. . .'

Old Man Journal

'Humph! When I was your age, I had to do my homework in front of a black and white.'

Eddie longed for the days when kids played at recess instead of waiting for YouTube moments.

Every time I get a postcard from your brother, I regret that I carved him out of driftwood.

Cinderella mopping up

"This house has been in my family for a considerable period of time."

"Remember the days we could drink and party all night and we thought guys in their 50's were old geezers?"

'I'm so glad this bedtime story comes in audio.'

'Daddy says, 'Better drowned than duffers if not duffers won't drown'. Well, let's just hope social services don't hear about this.'

'When I was a Scout, we had to blaze trails without sticky notes.'

After traveling across the universe for thousands of years, an episode of "Leave It To Beaver" is received by an inhabitant of a distant galaxy.

Bib's E-Book Readers.

Signs grampa has run out of 'When I Was Your Age' stories.

Geriatrics clinic: 'Wine, women and song, Doc! But not swashbuckling too!'

My mom says this story is a "real page turner." I have no idea what she means by that.

"Police dramas just aren't what they used to be."