Religion With A Twist Gifts

"That vicar really knows how to put the fear of god into people."

Monk with a smiley face on his tonsure.

The dove returns to Noah's Ark carrying an olive branch in a martini.

How's my absolution! (800)-HAIL MARY

'Thanks, but next time can you be more subtle when you think my sermon has gone too long?'

"We learned in Sunday School today that God uses illegal surveillance techniques."

The new piece of the armor of God, "the facemask of fearlessness."

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

Ruddy bloggers!

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

'Pink isn't EITHER the new black!'

"I must have pressed the wrong button."

United Church of OMG

"Hey Frank, any plans for after church?"

"And do you, Stephanie, promise to love, honor and 'obey'?

Champagne at the hunt

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

'Let there be cool.'

"You heard your mother. There's no need to bless the superfoods."

'School of secondary sex characteristics'

Matador Artificial Insemination.

Out for lunch... GOD

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep and with the sun if I've found death, please excuse my morning breath.

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

Zen and the Art of Procrastination.

The 1st annual pet baptism was also the last

'I understand the new usher is in the restaurant business.'

'How come I never see you in church?'

At Michawl Phelps' baptism.