Religion With A Twist Fan Gifts

"Hey, after this, do you want to walk into a bar?"

Priest reading 'Confessions of a Window Cleaner'.

Tiny Visions

A surprise in heaven

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

"Hallelujah!"

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

"We learned in Sunday School today that God uses illegal surveillance techniques."

Moral Outrage.

Monk with a smiley face on his tonsure.

"I'm supposed to meet a minister and a priest here..."

Drones deliver gold, frankincense and myrrh to baby Jesus.

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." "Give me all the juicy details."

Nativity Scene on the Underground

"Can we discuss this?"

'I propose a day of mild exasperation in response to Richard Dawkins.'

"I want to take a vacation, but the last time I left you in charge your face appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich."

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

"That vicar really knows how to put the fear of god into people."

"Dude....I just came back from the dead! I need a coffee, not a bloody chocolate egg!"

Pope's blessing.

"Eve had a good sense of humor. She took a lot of ribbing on the job."

"Sir, booing the Pastor is not allowed."

''Halliburton'? Wait a minute! -- I meant for the MEEK to inherit the Earth!'

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

"It's an extremely hazardous occupation - nearly every pope for the last 600 years has died on the job."