Religion With A Twist Fan Gifts

"Hey, after this, do you want to walk into a bar?"

Priest reading 'Confessions of a Window Cleaner'.

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Tiny Visions

A surprise in heaven

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

"At the time I thought it was a goose."

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

"I'll convert. What does the attorney general recommend?"

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

"We learned in Sunday School today that God uses illegal surveillance techniques."

"Hallelujah!"

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

Monk with a smiley face on his tonsure.

"I'm supposed to meet a minister and a priest here..."

Moral Outrage.

Drones deliver gold, frankincense and myrrh to baby Jesus.

"Can we discuss this?"

"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned." "Give me all the juicy details."

'I propose a day of mild exasperation in response to Richard Dawkins.'

Nativity Scene on the Underground

"I want to take a vacation, but the last time I left you in charge your face appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich."

'The Bishop called - he'd like to see a copy of that sermon you gave last Sunday.'

"That vicar really knows how to put the fear of god into people."

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

"Eve had a good sense of humor. She took a lot of ribbing on the job."

Reading the Bible.

"It's an extremely hazardous occupation - nearly every pope for the last 600 years has died on the job."

Pope's blessing.