Biblical Twist Fans Gifts

"Wait, I want to post a picture of our lunch."

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

Ghostwriting the Bible

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'Ignore it! It's just some of the local kids trying to get in for free.'

Sistine Selfie

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"Don't forget to rate us on stable-BnB."

Joseph and his coat

"Remember if anyone there asks... We're all from one household!"

"...I'll send you for an amniocentesis."

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

"Plagues are old-school – we're going to hit you with sanctions."

'Bad news everyone! The Ark didn't turn out as I expected.'

'Damn, we forgot to cancel the book of the month!'

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

Jesus makes water cooler water into wine.

Self raising Lazarus.

"Eve just went nuclear and split an Adam!"

Flight Into Egypt.

'The serpent was rotten to the core, but the apple was delicious.'

Mythical creatures on standby to enter Noah's ark.

Pontius Pilates

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

Moses Before Pharaoh's Daughter.

Eden. I didn't know we'd be kicked out of Eden, nobody ever reads those terms of service agreements!

First, the horses already boarded, and second, I know you're the Johnsons.

The Three Wise Women

"Guys, guys! Let's take this from the top. Who ordered the chicken nuggets...?"

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'I've got no idea either, but I bet you won't find two of them.'

"I don't suppose you realize....now we're all on the endangered species list."

'These are fine, but what's in it for me?'

"Ralph, have you noticed the other pairs are male and female?"