Biblical Twist Enthusiast Gifts

Eve gives Adam an apple pie

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Ten Commandments

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

Christian and Born again Christian...

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

Noah's ark, many lions

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Have your people call my people."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'Psst, Noah - there's a rumour going round that the dodos are gay.'

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

"Don't forget the screenplay."

'I'm not complaining or anything, but these are going to be really hard on our self-esteem!'

"Jesus is talking again with the tax collectors. We must be close to the fiscal year end."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."