Biblical Twist Aficionado Gifts

The Three Wise Women

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Moses' Tablet

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

Ten Commandments

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

Christian and Born again Christian...

Noah's ark, many lions

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Have your people call my people."

"Lord, business is slow and I'm getting frustrated. If I change my name to 'Job' would that give me more PATIENTS?"

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

'Psst, Noah - there's a rumour going round that the dodos are gay.'

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

"Don't forget the screenplay."