Biblical Twist Aficionado Gifts

The Three Wise Women

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

Moses' Tablet

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Ten Commandments

The Reason Ed isn't mentioned in the bible.

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

Noah's ark, many lions

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Have your people call my people."

'Psst, Noah - there's a rumour going round that the dodos are gay.'

"At lease we managed to stop the leak before the water reached 'E' Deck."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

"Lord, business is slow and I'm getting frustrated. If I change my name to 'Job' would that give me more PATIENTS?"

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

"Don't forget the screenplay."