Biblical Twist Enthusiast T-Shirts

Eve gives Adam an apple pie

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'The Lord spake to Moses? You mean voice mail?'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

"What did you expect in the land of milk and honey?"

Ezekiel and his Dog: "Have you been in the valley of dry bones again?"

'Hey, wait a minute...Apples aren't indigenous to this geopraphical region.'

KING HEROD INTERROGATES THE WISE MEN TO KNOW BABY JESUS'S WHEREABOUTS

The Beer Garden of Eden: "This hard cider is life-changing. Try a sip."

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"We've been wandering in the desert for forty years. But he's a man—would he ever ask directions?"

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Ten Commandments

"I love it when your eyes blaze like that; you remind me of Moses."

"But you can eat as much as you want from the tree of bullshit."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

Noah's ark, many lions

"Will you stop telling me to feed the Zebras? We just ate the zebras!"

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"Have your people call my people."

Adam and Eve, as old people.

'Psst, Noah - there's a rumour going round that the dodos are gay.'

'Could you carve the Commandments in stone? -- otherwise they'll think I made them up.'

'Please Miss, is it where Noah kept his bees?'

"Don't forget the screenplay."

"Remember, God created you. Evolution will get you left behind."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."