Religious Holiday Fan Gifts

"Unbelievable—Lohri's not even over and already the stores are putting out their Baisakhi stuff."

Nativity Scene on the Underground

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Tiny Visions

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

"I'm having my entrails read."

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Easter Candy Island.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Santa's wash day.

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

"I'm supposed to meet a minister and a priest here..."

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

"Easter and Halloween are my two favorite zombie-related holidays."

"I love Boxing Day"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

Last week, stingy caf

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

Rudolph's after-Christmas job

"Our lawyers are adept at spotting dodgy clauses.."

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

"It suddenly occurred to me - what was all this giving, giving, giving all the time?! How about doing some taking for a change?"

Pub quiz night. Man says 'Oh no, look who's in ..' Three Wise Men sit at adjacent table.

Rudolph's Half Brother - Dumas the Red Assed Reinmule.