Religious Holiday Fan Pillows

"Unbelievable—Lohri's not even over and already the stores are putting out their Baisakhi stuff."

Nativity Scene on the Underground

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Tiny Visions

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

"I'm having my entrails read."

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

Santa's wash day.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

'Wait a minute... What the heck is frankincense?'

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

Your basket: Gold. . .You may also like: Frankincense and Myrrh.

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

"I'm supposed to meet a minister and a priest here..."

"Easter and Halloween are my two favorite zombie-related holidays."

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

"I love Boxing Day"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

''Fasting' doesn't mean eating fast food!'

Rudolph's after-Christmas job

"Our lawyers are adept at spotting dodgy clauses.."

"It suddenly occurred to me - what was all this giving, giving, giving all the time?! How about doing some taking for a change?"

'I'm not allowed in the water until I can swim.'

'I'm glad that's over! After the last six weeks in the store, I'm never gonna have any kids!'