Churchgoer With A Twist Gifts

'I'm not a practicing Catholic anymore, but thanks to bingo I still get to church once a week.'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'I understand the new usher is in the restaurant business.'

"Hey Frank, any plans for after church?"

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

Wine and Spirits/Wine and Spirit

At Michawl Phelps' baptism.

'How come I never see you in church?'

Recycled Holy Water.

'Our local vicar paid to put that up.'

'Church art project' "We're hoping to draw a crowd"

All of Rev.Tuttle's sermons are videotaped in case one of congregates runs for public office.

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

Easter bunny thief.

'I'll have the happy clappy meal.'

'We worship the deity formally known as God.'

Devil in the first pew of church.

"If it's all the same to you, I'll wait for a Merlot and she'll have Sauterne."

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

The 1st annual pet baptism was also the last

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

"Boss. . . I thought you said you were going to church."

Buy low, sell high, tithe

Holy Water

Thoughts and Prayers

I don't usually resort to picking up women in singles bars. I usually meet them in church, but recently many of them have died during serpent handling. ? ?

If you want to text in tongues, you have to turn off autocorrect.

A man accidently sitting in a taken seat.

"Uh-oh, it's the cell phone police."

"That was one #!@* good sermon Preacher."

Cathedral Notice - Video Tapes of your confession available in shop.

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

"This must be league night at Fun Time Bowling."