Churchgoer With A Twist Pillows

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'I understand the new usher is in the restaurant business.'

"Hey Frank, any plans for after church?"

'I won't be coming to church any more, Reverend -- I've decided to convert to golf.'

'How come I never see you in church?'

Recycled Holy Water.

'Our local vicar paid to put that up.'

'Church art project' "We're hoping to draw a crowd"

All of Rev.Tuttle's sermons are videotaped in case one of congregates runs for public office.

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

'I'll have the happy clappy meal.'

'We worship the deity formally known as God.'

Devil in the first pew of church.

"If it's all the same to you, I'll wait for a Merlot and she'll have Sauterne."

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

The 1st annual pet baptism was also the last

"The wages of sin are ... pretty damn attractive."

"Boss. . . I thought you said you were going to church."

Buy low, sell high, tithe

Thoughts and Prayers

A man accidently sitting in a taken seat.

"Uh-oh, it's the cell phone police."

"That was one #!@* good sermon Preacher."

Cathedral Notice - Video Tapes of your confession available in shop.

"And now, a few words about the feel-God factor"

'Let us now turn to the Gospel According to St. Matthew for today's sob story.'

"...and, for those parishioners who insist on a Eucharist made with all organic, locally-sourced ingredients, see Father Maguire at aisle three."

"This must be league night at Fun Time Bowling."

Out for lunch... GOD

'I didn't know the church sold an extended warrenty on marriage?'

'I'm not really praying, I'm just trying to get my kids into a church school.'

"Now that's what I call a 'holy in the wall'".

United Church of OMG