Religion Nerd Gifts

'Just try to collect.'

'Pat's Pagan paperbacks and periodicals' next to 'Coleman's Christian bookshop'

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

Ascent of Machine.

"With less ice these days this provides better camouflage."

Conflating Science and Grammar. The boy threw the ball. What grammatical role does "ball" play in this sentence? An object in motion!

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"They're SUPPOSED to have a disparate impact!"

Neil Armstrong Outtakes

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"What did Jesus order?"

The ecumenical dinner party.

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

Vaccine

10 Commitments? Sure, I guess I could give him those, too.

'You know, I never have had a sabbatical....'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'Why did Moses wander in the desert for forty years?'

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

'I'll let your people go when they're fully pyramid-compliant!'

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

"Lord, thank you for guiding me through the whole 'evolution by natural selection' thing."

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

Charles Darwin

"I get the strange feeling this has happened before."

"Nasty sunburn."

"There Adam. Isn't that a lot more comfortable than that silly little fig leaf?"

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Of course you'll study Latin. How else will you learn the names of your dinosaur friends."

Moses parting the waves and trolleys appear on the sea bed!

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

To monk showing book entitled 'Brand Spanking New Testament': "I think we may have to shorten the title."