Religious Studies Geek Gifts

'I finally get the thing figured out, and then they come up with a New Testament!'

'We were sort of hoping that the Promised Land would be somewhere OUTSIDE the Middle East.'

"Want a plastic bag for those things?"

'These don't apply ex post facto, do they?'

'I don't get it, I've only served that guy water all evening.'

Translated... Stop the assault on religious freedom! Stop denying my right to deny others their rights! If humans evolved from apes, why are their still apes?!? Why are most criminals atheists? I regurgitate what I'm told without fact-checking. God Hates

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

You got that beer that the monks make, didn't you?

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"Well, we needed the rain."

'Yes, all at once!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

Trappist Monk Discord

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

The World's Biggest Book Club

'You were great at 'Daniel in the Lion's Den!' -- I'd sure like to hear you do 'The Three Little Pigs' sometime!'

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"

"Moses, some of the people are requesting gluten free manna."

'Nothing about the evils of corporate downsizing?'

How world war III started.

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

"Commandments aren't really selling these days. However, we're willing to consider self-help tips or personal improvement ideas."

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

Hot cross buns

"Mark, you have to stop calling John's gospel 'Fan Fiction.'"

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

The Ten Really Cool Facts

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"We're in luck, not a word about retrospectivity."

Finger puppets in church.

"Are these the Top Ten Commandments?"

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