Religious Studies Buff Gifts

'You want us to cut WHAT off?'

'Not much of a miracle - he turned it into Blue Nun!'

'Did you keep a back up in the cloud?'

There are extenuating circustances when you consider that the apple was covered in dark chocolate and rolled in macadamia nuts....I'm only human.'

Think For Yourself

Take two tablets and call me in the morning.

Toilets in a church: 'Men,' 'Amen,' 'Women.'

'Well if you don't want the apple, can I tempt you with this?'

'You're so facebook unfriended, Judas!'

"We've already blamed it on the Jews."

'Having one God, instead of many Gods, will save tons of money, just in sacrificial lambs alone!'

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. Never mind."

"They think I made them in MY image? How did they get THAT idea?"

Circumcision Debate.

Joseph and the Coat of Many Colors.

"Does 'bearing false witness' include ethnic slurs?"

"You mean this is IT? - No Bill of Rights?"

'It's just a cactus, Fred -- It's not an establishment of religion.'

God creates Adam.

'We were hoping for something more, you know, politically correct.'

"You can't be a St. Bernard - you're Lutheran."

"Sometimes I wish I hadn't cut corners to get it in under seven."

Before God Created Oranges

Jesus feeds the pigeons

'And then, if you really wanna drive him nuts, tell him there's another man!'

'You never let us do ANYTHING!'

'I think you'll find we do things a bit differently around here.'

'Noah's Refrigerator.' On it is a 'To Do List' that includes, 'Clip Pet Food Coupons, Build Ark.'

'I've got a bunch of followers. I can't vouch for their quality.'

'Because He owns controlling interest. That's why God's omnipotent.'

'Only twelve tribes and they've already lost TEN of them?'

'Quit calling it an OMG-story, Larry. As I recall, I was the one who got them evicted from Paradise.'

'Create them in Your own image? --Even the female oe?'

'Excuse me - I think you're in my seat.'

Gifts From The Tree of Knowledge