Religion Humor Appreciator Gifts

"Is that damn bishop moving off diagonally again ?"

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'I'm not sure about these, but I'll try them out on the focus group.'

Dogma

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Those are a few jokes to loosen up the crowd first...how do you like 'em?'

United Church of OMG

'Please take your receipt!'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Finger puppets in church.

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

Om and Ommer

"I'm charging you with texting and driving."

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

"'Host' and Cheese?"

"He's highly qualified to be our new associate pastor but he wants all weekends and holidays off - the same days I want off."

Pre-nuptual Nativity

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

Nativity - The sitcom

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

Jesus and the Peeps

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

"Holy moly!"

Male On Sunday

Pope Kimba XXIII.