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"Is that damn bishop moving off diagonally again ?"

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'I'm not sure about these, but I'll try them out on the focus group.'

Dogma

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Please take your receipt!'

United Church of OMG

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Finger puppets in church.

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

Moses' first encounter with the burning bush didn't go well.

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.

"Bit big for a cherub, isn't it, Brother Ignatious?"

"Holy moly!"

Three Parent Baby

Pre-nuptual Nativity

When The Seven Deadly Sins Come Knocking.

Male On Sunday

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

'When I asked for your favourite Saint, I didn't think of someone like Michael Ballack, son.'

"He's highly qualified to be our new associate pastor but he wants all weekends and holidays off - the same days I want off."

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"'Host' and Cheese?"

Nativity - The sitcom

Jesus and the Peeps

'So long as he doesn't preach what he practices.'

Pope Kimba XXIII.