Relaxing At Bars Pillows

"Sometimes I'd like to smack the stock market across the face and tell it to just chill."

Best Before 5th Pint.

Check your universal remote control at the door.

"An everything Martini, please."

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

Watching the football.

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

'No more for me, thanks - I've already had a skinful.'

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

Frog and Princess in Bar

Pints of Lager

'I promised my wife I was only getting one beer.'

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

Chairs - a bar where everybody has a seat!

Raw Piano Bar

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

Joe's Bar, Under New Joe!

Full glass

"You're Bard!"

"Mmm my, there is just something about a man in footie pajamas."

"Remember, I'm 'catch and release'."

"Oh him, that's Ron. He's a permanent fixture in here."

"I'm not serving you mate - you're off yer face..!"

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

Mobile phone in bar asking for a pint of beer

"I've spent the last 6 months teaching myself escapology."

"One can only hope this is the raw stuff of art."

"In actual fact, most pubs these days cater for kids." (Toddler served milk at bar).

"It's O.K., I've got his car keys."

'It's dead in here tonight.'

'I can drink beer, wine or liquor. I'm a 'hybrid.''