Socializing At Bars Pillows

'Hold on there, Mr. Webster. 1677 isn't prime - it's divisible by 43.'

'You'll all know when you've had enough when she starts to look like a Page 3 girl!'

Her tears flowed like wine.

"I'm not serving you mate - you're off yer face..!"

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Best Before 5th Pint.

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

Watching the football.

If bar stools were like playground swings...

'No more for me, thanks - I've already had a skinful.'

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

Liquidity Lunch

Frog and Princess in Bar

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

'I promised my wife I was only getting one beer.'

Pints of Lager

"Sometimes I'd like to smack the stock market across the face and tell it to just chill."

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

"Well, at least I'm embracing my feminine side!"

Joe's Bar, Under New Joe!

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

Full glass

"Oh him, that's Ron. He's a permanent fixture in here."

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

Join me in a beer?

"Never drink on an empty..." "Pocket?"

"Okay, I'm intrigued."

'I can drink beer, wine or liquor. I'm a 'hybrid.''

'It's dead in here tonight.'

"I've spent the last 6 months teaching myself escapology."

Mobile phone in bar asking for a pint of beer