Socializing At Bars Gifts

'Hold on there, Mr. Webster. 1677 isn't prime - it's divisible by 43.'

'You'll all know when you've had enough when she starts to look like a Page 3 girl!'

Her tears flowed like wine.

"Honestly mate, I'm not really into football...THIS is actually a rare skin condition..."

"I'm not serving you mate - you're off yer face..!"

Check your universal remote control at the door.

Best Before 5th Pint.

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

Watching the football.

'No more for me, thanks - I've already had a skinful.'

If bar stools were like playground swings...

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

Liquidity Lunch

'I promised my wife I was only getting one beer.'

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

Pints of Lager

Frog and Princess in Bar

"Sometimes I'd like to smack the stock market across the face and tell it to just chill."

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

"Well, at least I'm embracing my feminine side!"

Joe's Bar, Under New Joe!

"Mister, I don't know if the glass is half full or half empty. It's 12 dollars."

Full glass

"Oh him, that's Ron. He's a permanent fixture in here."

Live soccer today.

Join me in a beer?

'It's dead in here tonight.'

'I can drink beer, wine or liquor. I'm a 'hybrid.''

Mobile phone in bar asking for a pint of beer

"Hey - didn't I see you on TV last night?"

Bob's Bar tightens it's belt by reducing happy hour to happy minute.