Socializing At Pubs Gifts

Best Before 5th Pint.

"This place has the best happy hour."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Beers

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

You said you wanted beer with hops !

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"Well, what are you doing after the millennium?"

"It's from the local micro brewery..."

'No more for me, thanks - I've already had a skinful.'

If bar stools were like playground swings...

"She said 'let's go for a walk in the park'. It turned into a quagmire."

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'What's wrong with him?' - 'He drank a glass of water by mistake.'

'Sorry... We don't serve food here.'

Towny Music Night.

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

'You know what I really like in someone? Bulk!'

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

Liquidity Lunch

'Ah, beer! And the bringer of beer!'

To tell you the truth, I find it hard to be sympathetic for the plight of the beer vampire.

Real Beer People

'I promised my wife I was only getting one beer.'