Socializing At A Pub Gifts

'He's been doped by the rival team.' Playing darts.

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Beers

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'Sorry... We don't serve food here.'

Towny Music Night.

melting snowman in a bar, one for the road

Pub. This is John. He also loves obscure bands until they're popular then hates them. The Druidiots. Luckies. 50 ale.

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

Liquidity Lunch

Real Beer People

'Doesn't seem right somehow-REAL ale in PLASTIC glasses!'

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

Death chatting in a pub - "The scythe?...Oh that went years ago. I've got a brand new combine harvester in the car park!"

'A packet o' crisps, and have one for yersel'.'

"I'm all over the Internet, so why hide? I might as well come out and enjoy myself."

'Anyone can eat right... but it takes a top performer to drink right.'

'Where toilet?.' 'Toilet lady graphic sign.'

"How about one more for the road not taken?"

"Glad I had a pretzel before leaving the house; I'd hate to drink all that on an empty stomach."

Getting old...

"Want to come over Sunday, watch the game, and help me start dreading Monday?"

'Now his mother's gone, she's nowhere to slink off to and watch tripe on t'telly!

"Oi, who are you bleedin' looking at?"

'You won't let me go down the pub at night. . . now you won't let me have my friends round.'