Socializing At A Pub Gifts

'He's been doped by the rival team.' Playing darts.

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

'Of course I'm out of touch with reality. That's what I came here for.'

Best Before 5th Pint.

Beers

'Looks like a good day fah haulin' lobstah, eh, Pauley?...Let's just say it became a good day fah drinkin'...'

'That's her second pitcher and she doesn't even like beer - I guess she just likes to pee.'

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"I'm off, I only popped in for a swift three units."

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

'Sorry... We don't serve food here.'

Towny Music Night.

melting snowman in a bar, one for the road

"Leave it you guys! We have this EVERY-SINGLE-TIME we go anywhere!!"

Liquidity Lunch

'Doesn't seem right somehow-REAL ale in PLASTIC glasses!'

Real Beer People

"My body is a temple... unfortunately it's in ruins"

"Is it horny in here, or is it just me?"

Death chatting in a pub - "The scythe?...Oh that went years ago. I've got a brand new combine harvester in the car park!"

'Anyone can eat right... but it takes a top performer to drink right.'

"I'm all over the Internet, so why hide? I might as well come out and enjoy myself."

'A packet o' crisps, and have one for yersel'.'

Getting old...

'Where toilet?.' 'Toilet lady graphic sign.'

"How about one more for the road not taken?"

"Glad I had a pretzel before leaving the house; I'd hate to drink all that on an empty stomach."

"Want to come over Sunday, watch the game, and help me start dreading Monday?"

'If I'd know how much a pint was going to cost at this time of life, I'd have misspent my youth for a lot longer.'

"Yeah, I'm selling my bowling balls. Free delivery to anyone who lives downhill."

'I fancy stretching my legs. Could you order the Bitter?'

'You won't let me go down the pub at night. . . now you won't let me have my friends round.'